Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Revealing the truth of self

'When you love, you project.  You love not to give; you love to take, you love to exploit.  When you love a person, you love to exploit.  When you love a person, you start trying to fix this person according to you, according to your ideas. Every husband is doing that, every wife is doing that, every friend.  They go on trying to change the other, the real and the real cannot be changed - you will only get frustrated.

The real cannot be changed.'

 on the perfected silent types...
'A man like Sosan loves, but his love is not an exploitation, his love has a different quality to it, he will love but it will not be like yours.  He will love but it will not be a choice, or a projection, or a love of his own dream.  His love will be real. He loves because he has got too much, he is an overflowing. He is not creating a dream around anybody.  He shares with whomsoever comes on his path. His sharing is unconditional, and he does not expect a thing from you.  If love expects then there will be frustration.  If love expects then there will be unfulfillment, misery and madness.' 

The Book of Nothing, Osho

Clarify thy heart...

' When there is no liking and disliking, your eyes are clear, you have a clarity.  Then you see the other as he is or she is.  And when you have a clarity of consciousness the existence reveals itself to you. That really is godliness, that reality is truth.'  The Book of Nothing, by Osho

I am feeling a deep gratitude today as i reflect on the deep insights i have been receiving in the past few weeks... i feel that as I become more aware of the clouds and layers of my emotions - that, my truth and the truth of others is beginning to show itself... yes, everything is becoming more real, and I feel more trust, love and closeness to other beings as i begin to melt away the outer shell of fear or for me, trembling, followed by layers of sadness and tears and holding or control and repression, to deep happiness and fulfilment which seems to come up from within... a soft love sits there under it all, and in that space i have begun to be pulled into that freedom and truth, instead of sitting on the sideline as an observer.

I am allowing myself to become more and more emotionally loose, crying discreetly in public places, observing and allowing tears to fall, escaping to toilets for mini 'dynamics', in fact encouraging any little pains in my heart to open to layers of liquid in the eyes which crack open and break into slow tears... and fast tears... all different kinds and textures of tears... amazing -  its out out out this week.  always making sure to celebrate these moments, by finishing with a dance and a big smile.

I feel I am being thrown back to myself by more and more situations, slowly slowly finding my way to an unknown authenticity, a centredness - a thank you to osho and his people, and to existence. Today I have allowed myself to see myself as I am and you are, and I feel we are all blessed. 

Opening to embracing the real me and real you.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Moving inwards... in in in..

I have been feeling like i am missing my calling, my heart wants me to go back to the ashram, but my mind still wants to conquer the commercial world... even if it is with healing, yoga and massage.

I am reminded, the waves on the top of the ocean show nothing of the depth.

I want to continue my spiritual unfoldment, i just feel so restrained here, there is a resistance to being here in byron,.. i know that it will pass if i sit it out...:D yoga classes and massage studio unfolding, a design fitout in brisbane unfolding...  i feel amongst the ordinary folk and yet i feel so different, my needs not met, how do i release them.  I feel so deeply bored and unfulfilled in a town life of work and play. Right now.

what is it that i need? or want?
blessings fall from above and i listen to the words that speak to my heart...
give me the answers, please...

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Something I need to remind self about, when feeling like there is something 'wrong' or even not quite right going on within me among and amidst the chaos... :D

'The enlightened man has no friends, no enemies, but only a pure love, unaddressed. He is ready to pour into anybody’s heart who is available. That is real authentic friendliness' osho

As Samaya mentioned to me the other day in the ashram, that no one can pass me without noticing me, and now i have become aware of my deep connection with all people, i see that everyone deeply acknowledges me.  Smiles generally creep onto the lips of people as they enter into the energetic field around me.  This is not an egoic point, it is simply an observation of existential truth.  The enlightened is one with the universe and the energetic field has become thick and impregnated with love.

When I was in the Satyananda ashram in Greece I was gracefully working on the Interior Design for Paramahamsa Satyanandas tribute space where our great Paramahamsa's ashs are kept, {similar to the buddha auditorium in pune where oshos ashs are..}  This time was special, and it gave me an understanding of the energy field surrounding masters  - I guess I have been in denial about the strength of the energy field around me, basically because in a conscious way my australian culture and upbringing is unconsiously aware, or consciously unaware of my development,..{i feel misunderstood and disrespected, and not really at a point where i feel wise  enough to face it and teach people about spirituality, other than through yoga and energy work, although my intellectual knowledge was always a strength of mine, its a time for dropping it.}

Basically, now is a time when I am being 'called' to look inside, to leave it, to become aware of my own emotions, and the emotions of others, to see, to look - 'to let go' and become this flowing river or sea of love.  I am feeling relieved, that these emotions are being welcomed, and have begun to have alot of experiences with my own and others emotions. Bring it on!  Clarity is coming, i can feel it :D

Down times are gonna clear up....

The past few weeks alot of sadness has arisen with me...i am totally enjoying it!!  Just allowing myself to cry and release all of the pain and hurt... great times.  It is true i feel more whole, blessings are falling, and life is as it is.

'A person who can be patiently sad will suddenly find that one morning a happiness is arising in his heart from some unknown source. That unknown source is godliness. You have earned it if you have been truly sad; if you have been truly hopeless, desperate, unhappy, miserable, if you have lived in hell, you have earned heaven. You have paid the cost....

Confront life. Encounter life. Difficult moments will be there, but one day you will see that those difficult moments gave you strength because you encountered them. They were meant to be. Those difficult moments are hard when you are passing through them, but later on you will see they have made you more integrated. Without them you would never have been centered, grounded.'  osho!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Heart centered everything...

In this moment, i feel that this message is the heart of spirituality, and this is an idea and belief that i can say is congruent within me, based on both the mind and heart...  broken down, its simply that the heart, hurt may allow the mind and the ego to take over, to calculate, to break things down, to become irritated or fearful, and believe that it needs to defend itself against life, so that ignorantly, nothing/no-one can touch it - but really, we can always have a way to know, to connect with life and to trust by connecting with our heart.

'When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that its bottomless, that it doesnt have any resolution,that this heart, is vast and limitless.  You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.  Your world may seem less solid, more roomy and spacious.  The burden lightens.  In the beginning it might feel like sadness or a shaky feeling, accompanied by a lot of fear, to make fear your companion is growing.  You're willing to get to know yourself at this deep level.' Pema Chodron on Loving Kindness and Compassion

This is where i am right now, I have been hiding in the heat of my base chakras, and finally practically thanks to ashram in the bush have begun to raise my consciousness to the soft cool sweetness of the heart.  Night trembling and day trembling are coming to me at the moment, and i can healthily say that fear is my companion.  Also being enlightened opens your self to the feelings and thoughts of the world and so opening the enlightened heart maybe more scary and painful then pre.

'You're the only one who knows when you're opening and when you're closing.  You're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're keeping your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is - working with it
 rather than struggling against it.  You're the only one who kn knows.'  Pema Chodron