Sunday, February 12, 2017

Deep depression showing itself


I've recently made a huge step and moved into a forest to live, away from society, after an awareness that I didn't want to give my loving energy to greedy, awful people who hate, blame, and throw emotions on me. I've learnt that no one is here, so any road is good, to choose something I want.  I had a choice to either go into the city or go into the country, and I decided to put myself first! I decided to sit and feel my emotions, to get away from the mind fields and enter the natures energy no mind field.

I have felt so here, like here no where else, I've felt home here. I'm going to be blissful when I shift my emotions out which is what I'm doing and feeling my emotions surface more and more. The deep crying and ' landslide' of my depths is surfacing so I can feel the crying. I'm no longer hiding my emotions. I can sense the people around me can feel me feeling these intense intimate emotions.

The depression is caused from everyone throwing their unwanted emotions on me. Because they're not good happy or beautiful and I am. Even my brother throws jealousy on me now when he had the chance to connect and grow he chose hope not but unwanted emotions in which he throws at me. My mother hates me, her hatred is growing! It is getting worse.

Here I am in the forest healing. I'm growing in the mind heart and being. I'm growing so fast the hatred of others is growing! I'm in the best way stronger. I'm getting stronger and they're growing more negative! 

I got to say I'm so happy I've decided to stay in the forest for a long time! I'm not giving to these people! I'm not going to hope for them! I'm happy living in peace bliss and happiness alone! I hope a partner arrives for me ! 

I'm going to be very benevolent here I'm going to think less be more and feel good! I not hoping to heal others you don't deserve my love. 

The winds around me come from grief. 
I'm here!
I'm here!

I'm hoping I just hope enough to hope not.